While walking the red carpet Monday night for the Hollywood premier of “Inglorious Basterds”, Angelina Jolie talked a little about how much she loves gettin it on, and how she and Brad Pitt seek out new and different places to stick it to her. The Sun UK says…
ANGELINA JOLIE and BRAD PITT have opened up about their sex life again – saying they get intimate in LOTS of different places.
Last week Brad revealed that a secret grotto behind the waterfall in their pool was “a great place for sex”.
But Angie revealed that it was just one of many.
“We’ve got a few special places, you know? You keep it going.”
Brad laughingly added: “”There is an old Hollywood property just a few minutes away. It has a grotto there. The rumour is Jimi Hendrix spent some time there.”
I have no idea what the hell they’re talking about, but whatever. Whenever and wherever she wants to have sex would be fine with me. A waterfall, a grotto or a cage filled with lions – the answer is “yes”. Crime scene? Hospital? Morgue? Yes. Yes. Yes. She could just gesture to a graveyard as we drove by and I would dig up the recently dead and use them to prop up her ass if that’s what she wanted. Who cares, just as long as I get to hump her.
In what might have been the greatest news of 1991, Sharon Stone has posed topless on the cover of the French magazine, Paris Match. Whatever. They might as well have had Wall * E or Frankenstein on the cover, because this picture was obviously made in a lab.
(Enjoy the banner pic of NSFW granny porn, you know, if you’re into that sort of thing. Pervert.)
To those complaining in their heads, you’re right. Her candids are super sexy. My apologies.
Keeley Hazell hasn’t been on here in a while, so it’s time to all change that. Especially since she has the greatest pair of tits in the known galaxy. I swear, if my penis got anywhere inside this chick, I’d blow so hard she’d look like a dolphin.
Model Imogen Thomas was at a pool in Spain yesterday when suddenly one of her friends ripped her bikini off and the two of them ran around topless. And while I appreciate them showing me their tits, I can’t condone that kind of horseplay. Wikipedia says over 2 million kids die every year from running around pools. No actually I just made that up, but wouldn’t it be awesome. Kids are so effin’ annoying.
Lady GaGa fell out of her top again during a concert this weekend. Luckily she has a good body, because from the neck up she couldn’t be any more of a monster unless she had frankenstein bolts on either side and a big zipper across her hairline.
It goes without saying that Victoria’s Secret model, Alessandra Ambrosio is one of the hottest women on Earth. It also goes without saying that my bowties make me look like a gentleman. My granny says I’m such a catch!
Ali Larter was walking in Beverly Hills this weekend when I assumed God either made her drop her purse or kneel down and look for something. I hate to give it away, but the pic below has a surprise inside. Good lookin’ out, God!
Mary Louise Parker is in this months Esquire magazine, and you have to hand it to the foppish dandies over there, because they’ve once again managed to describe a super hot naked girl in the gayest way possible.
A few times now you’ve given Esquire your image – your long platinum neck, your deep Guinness eyes staring out from the photos, your movie-star nose, twitched a little, your long body lounging on our pages.
I have no idea what Lord Queerington is talking about, but that’s nothing new with Esquire and GQ. They should rename those magazines Restraining Order Digest and Exfoliating Weekly because that’s all they ever fucking talk about. A magazine about socks and truffle oil for guys is about as useful as a fantasy football guide for girls. Oh, what’s that Esquire? Brooches? For men? Ohhh, do I dare?!?!
I have no idea what or who this video is for, but it’s two minutes of a naked Bar Refaeli writhing on a couch, so it could be an ad for drowning puppies or pyromania, and I think I’d be okay with it. Not really sure why they used some music that Jennifer Aniston probably listens to when she feeds the garden hose in her tailpipe through her window, but that’s really not a dealbreaker. Especially since I became a recent fan of tan lines. As previously stated, it’ll just make it easier for me to find it in the dark.
Since pictures have been scarce lately, I’m making this post a Bar Refaeli blowout out bonanza! Oh, btw, depending on where you work, this video may be considered NSFW. Much like your erection:
After three years of dating, Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey have split. You know, not that I really give a damn. Star Magazine reports:
“They have amicably split but remain good friends who still greatly care for one another,” Vanessa’s rep said. Talk of trouble has followed the duo for months. Back in May, Star reported that Nick was hitting on a Jessica look-alike at a Kentucky Derby party — the night after he kissed another girl at a club.
So to recap, a chick who barely anybody knows dumped some guy that you liked when you were 14 then realized that boy bands are gay so you banged the guy in your high school who sold drugs and drove that new Jeep. Except it really wasn’t his Jeep it was his dad’s because his dad was rich and the guy was just a wigger you thought was cool because he wore his hat backwards and used words he learned on BET and listened to rap because he could identify with it because how he was raised in that gated community on the golf course where his mom got drunk that one time and slipped, hey you remember that? He even had a pitbull because after all that’s what black people do and he felt that if he did he could be black too, because black people are cool because they can like dance and stuff and rent Ferrari’s for a day when they do a videoshoot and sip champagne when dey thurstay. I guess I could ramble on a little more, but I hope this clears this whole story up.
