adam lambert might be gay…

You may find this hard to believe, but there’s been tons of debate over Adam Lamberts sexuality. Oh I know, right? What could it be?!?! People seem to think he’s obligated to make some big public proclamation but quite frankly those people can go fuck themselves. If the dude doesn’t want to make a big deal of his sexuality, good. I fucking hate people who only talk about the thing that makes them different. Black comedians who only talk about being black, gay comedians who only talk about being gay, handicapped comedians who only blow into their tube.

I don’t think anyone cares if someone is gay anymore, but how he lives his life isn’t up to me. He should be more worried about why his lover looks so unhappy in the banner picture. My girlfriends only make that face when I try to kiss them.

everybodys bisexual…

First Pink, then Megan Fox, then Fergie; every famous chick is falling all over themselves to tell anyone who will listen that they’re bisexual. Now, Lady GaGa, who looks asexual, apparently is too. She tells Rolling Stone:

Lady Gaga’s devotion to being a star drove her to order bags of cocaine and spend hours perfecting her hair and makeup in a tiny Lower East Side apartment after she dropped out of NYU several years ago — well before she was actually famous. “It was quite sick,” she admits. “I suppose that’s where the vanity of the album came from.” Her debut, The Fame, was almost entirely inspired by her relationship with a heavy-metal drummer named Luke, and their breakup profoundly changed Gaga. She tells Hiatt she’s bisexual, but her attraction to women is purely physical. It’s an aspect of her sexuality that makes boyfriends “uncomfortable,” she says.

Penis mood: Asleep
Currently listening to: Damn this bitch is ugly

my girlfriend at LAX…

LAX just got a hundred times more beautiful, because in case you didn’t know, my girlfriend was there today. She’s not feeling well and she’s afraid to fly, so hopefully she got a drink on the plane to calm her down. Hopefully that will help. Or she can let my tongue go spelunking. You know, either or.

fegie likes puss, pass it on…or don’t…cuz she’s gross

These “I’m a bisexual and make out with girls” stories are hot when it’s people like Angelina or Megan Fox telling them, or even Lindsay if you imagine her between the legs of someone other than that bug eyed mess she was hittin, but all that comes to a crashing halt when it’s Fergies leathery ass telling it. The Sun says…

The BLACK EYED PEAS singer (reveals) that she is bisexual. “Put it this way, I’ve experimented definitely, but I have never had a steady girlfriend.” The 34-year-old star explained: “You’ll like our next video, for I Got A Feeling, because I have a little girl-on-girl tease section of the video.
“I met the girls right before we did the scene.
“They were beautiful. They were hot.
“One of them was the director’s girlfriend — so he was happy!”

Ewwww. Picture the exact scenario she described: some fug mess with leathery old skin inspecting the sexy young girls in bikinis before the action starts. Sounds more like prostitution, or what those fat oil sheiks do before they buy kidnapped sex slaves. Rawr, how Sexy! Fergie sure is sexy!

(and yes she looks okay in the banner picture because i didn’t wanna fug up the page, but she also looks like this…

and this…

so let’s not get carried away)

megan fox is bisexual, i just came…

In the new issue of Esquire, Megan Fox says that she likes to have sex with girls. When asked for comment, I said, “Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh God, oh God, oh, ooohhhhh…..ah, ah, aaaaaahhhh, ah, mmmmm, ah, uuhhmm…whew. Who’s hungry?” The Sun UK says:

The Transformers actress says she’s a bisexual woman who won’t sleep with other bisexual women. She told Esquire: “I think people are born bisexual and they make subconscious choices based on the pressures of society. “I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. But I’m also a hypocrite. I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I’d never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.”

There’s only two women in the world that can make my penis shoot like a sprinkler, and yes, Megan Fox is one of them. And this does nothing but help her case. Dear God. I’m not even halfway joking when I say I’d fuck this bitch in the ass so fast California could use me to start a controlled burn.