Although he beat the shit out of Rihanna because she dared to ask him about a woman he was texting, Chris Brown was sentenced to 180 days of community service in his home state of Virginia where he will, as punishment, be picking up trash, pulling weeds and washing fire trucks.
TMZ Reports:
He gets 5 years probation for FELONY assault — he pled guilty. He’ll get supervised probation. He’ll have to come back to court every three months. He must enroll in a domestic violence counseling program. This is interesting … the judge said if Brown and Rihanna are at the same public events, the 50-yard stay away turns into 10 yards. The stay away order lasts 5 years. The judge said she wanted to make sure that Chris Brown “was treated as any other person who comes through this court.” If Brown violates probation, he could get up to 4 years in prison. Rihanna is in the courthouse but never entered the courtroom. So Brown is now a convicted felon and loses the following rights: To own a gun, to sit on a jury, subject to search and seizure without a search warrant and he now has limitations on travel. When Brown left the courtroom … Rihanna walked in the courtroom. The judge explained the deal to her. The judge is telling Rihanna about the protective order.
Wow. Thanks again California judicial system. I’m sure a woman beater will learn his lesson by doing chores I did when I was 10. Man, it’s a good thing he didn’t kill her then you’d really have to punish him to the fullest extent of California law. Like sentencing him to watch a scary movie or going to bed without ice cream. That’ll teach him!!
The cover story for todays InTouch has another heartwarming Kate Gosselin story, this time with pictures of her smacking around Leah thankfully included. InTouch says…
Around 11 a.m. on June 13, a witness spotted Kate, 34, and the children playing outside of their Reading, Pa., home. When Leah, one of the sextuplets, started blowing a whistle loudly, Kate told her to stop because she was on the phone. But as soon as Leah blew on the whistle again, Kate “seemed to lose her temper” and said, “Did you not hear me?” Then she stormed over to her daughter, grabbed her and hit her. “The girl was screaming and crying,” the witness adds. “Kate just pushed her away and walked off with her coffee. Her older sisters were trying to make Leah feel better.”
That poor little girl. Those kids are cute so this bothers me. I probably wouldn’t care if they were ugly. I was never spanked much as a little kid, but my dad was a Marine Corps fighter pilot, including F8’s in Vietnam. F8’s, if you don’t know, did tons of low level bombings. Point being, my dad has killed many thousands of people, so when one of histories most prolific killers tells you to mow the lawn, a good idea is to slowly back away and then run to that god damn lawnmower as fast as your little legs will carry you.
I’m in a really weird mood today. It’s like I’m stoned but I’m mostly positive that I’m not. Just brace yourself for me to make even less sense than normal.
If you we’re making an episode of the A-Team, and you needed to establish how evil your bad guy was, one way to show that would be to have them living it up in a big mansion while the town they rule is real poor. And they could walk the streets drinking delicious water in front of little kids on the verge of dehydration. This clip of Kate Gosselin is like that, except it’s real life, and instead of random Mexican kids, it’s her own god damn daughter.
Here we see Plus 8 chasing fireflies and playing kick the can. Oh wait no they’re in a television studio so Kate can use them as props while she does an interview. While they wait, Mady says she’s thirsty. Kate ignores her. Mady says it again. Kate asks for a bottle of water, then takes a sip herself, then puts it away. Mady is, at best, three inches away when this happens. Mady says, “You’re really really mean, you drank it right in front of my face.” And Kate says, “Be quiet.” Then, FOR THE SECOND GOD DAMN TIME, Kate pretends as if she’s going to give a sip of water to adorable little girl, but then doesn’t.
It’s…I can’t…even….she’s so cold, it feels like watching Ralph Fienes shoot that little kid in the back in Schindlers List. And he was a Nazi. Who ran a concentration camp. Even crocodiles provide for their kids, and they eat half of them.
Billy Bob Thorton’s estranged daughter, Amanda Brumfield, has been charged with child neglect of a 1-year old girl she was babysitting who died of a subdural hematoma caused by a skull fracture and blunt trauma. Brumfield says the child fell out of her playpen, but the police determined that the 1-year didn’t have any mutant powers that would allow her to scale the walls of a playpen and jump out. TMZ reports:
Brumfield told police that after the baby had fallen, she discovered her tongue bleeding, so Brumfield cleaned it with a paper towel. She then says she began playing with the child, feeding her bananas and fruit snacks, and said she was “happy” and playful. Brumfield then said she laid the child on the couch next to her and fell asleep. She says was awoken sometime later by the phone and decided to take the child back to the playpen. When she lifted her, Brumfield told cops she discovered her body was limp. According to police, the call for help didn’t come until two and a half hours after the original fall. Brumfield is Thornton’s child with his first wife, Melissa Gatlin.
Let’s not kid ourselves, I’m an asshole, so I laugh at pretty much anything, but hitting a defenseless child because you don’t know how to control your temper tantrums makes me want to Hulk out. This chick hasn’t been found guilty of anything yet, but I’m just going to assume she is. In that case, I’m also going to assume that a sledgehammer or an anvil might open her mind up to the thought of a revolutionary new medical theory called “Don’t Hit Babies in the Fucking Head.”
In one of his first public statements since choking out Rihanna because she wanted to know who he was texting, Chris Brown put out this video the other day to tell everybody about his new album that’s coming out. Oh, and towards the end, he manages to call everybody a hater and claims that he isn’t a monster. The more I think about it, he’s probably right. There’s no way a monster would do what he did. Monsters do things like play with little boys in wolf costumes or try to send Boo back through her door.
Chris Browns attorney was in court this morning attempting to have the case against his client thrown out because details have been leaked to the public. Details such as, “he punched her in the left eye with his right hand (then) continued to punch her. The assault caused her mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.” His attorney said…
“Leaks can form the basis for a motion to dismiss the case in regard to outrageous governmental misconduct.”
I think he means that evidence photo. And if so his request seems pretty reasonable. If the jury pool sees a picture after Brown repeatedly punched Rihanna in the face, they may get the impression that Brown repeatedly punched Rihanna in the face. I don’t like the idea of the public seeing so-called “evidence” in trials. How about we give Chris a true-false test to see if he did it, or throw him in a well and see if he floats.
